went to a party last night with the kid that was the most popular boy in my junior high school.
was complete shit.
spent whole night sitting in musty room listening to crappy vinyls at full volume with pretentious kids who looked like they just came from shooting an urban outfitters ad, and then was projectile vomitted upon by some douche on acid.
felt like was in perks of being a wallflower.
and the boy that was so cool and unattainable in the 7th grade feels different somehow... now he's just some college bro with some really cheap beer in his backpack, mackin it to me through texts.
he's got no game.
seriously, it's like negative game.
from this experience, have learned that even though one may have been an awkward, ugly cretin in junior high, one can still be asked out years later by the popular boy all the thirteen year olds wanted to fuck, and then get thrown up on by some douche on acid.
that was life, and it happened.
all over my black shirt.
Saturday, September 27, 2008
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
i'm sorry ms. jackson
bleak day.
woke up still drunk after my 5am romp with my fellow nile waitreses.
lost pencil eye liner.
and hair has gone wild in manner of insane, elderly aunt that fights with the neighbors and is too frugal to turn on the heating during the winter time and freezes in her sleep, leaving behind drawers and drawers of random newspaper clippings and a house that smells like moth balls and cat piss.
also, have skipped my cultural diversity class because it is bullshit.
my life is such a mess.
woke up still drunk after my 5am romp with my fellow nile waitreses.
lost pencil eye liner.
and hair has gone wild in manner of insane, elderly aunt that fights with the neighbors and is too frugal to turn on the heating during the winter time and freezes in her sleep, leaving behind drawers and drawers of random newspaper clippings and a house that smells like moth balls and cat piss.
also, have skipped my cultural diversity class because it is bullshit.
my life is such a mess.
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
huzzah
my days of being a wandering gypsy have finally come to a dramatic close.
have found a new place to live.
and am so happy i could throw up on you.
this business of waking up in the morning unsure of where i would be living in a few weeks has given me a new empathy for the homeless.
but then i see the famous Spare Change Guy walking through campus and all tender feelings immediately evaporate.
that's right, have said it:
hate the scg.
boston's darling and the unofficial mascot of suffolk univerity.
he has become a regular fixture here in historical boston, his monotonous call for spare change ringing like bells of freedom across the commons and through the state house.
but he's kind of a dick.
he is actually not homeless (this was proven when he was arrested in his frammingham home sveral times).
so as you can see,
he's just a huge douche
that needs to get a job.
but for some reason, people absolutely LOVE him.
like fox news, whose station is on campus. they're always asking him his opinion and regularly feature him, humoring his "derelict charm".
and if "derelict charm" is synonomous for
"crazy ramblings of the crimminally insane and lazy", then i guess he has plenty of it.
those douchebags at fox news even asked him what his advice was on how to stay cool in the summer.
seriously, are they retarded?
that's like putting an ethiopian on tv and asking him his diet tips.
ok whatever my point is that
a)
have finally found a home.
and b)
spare change guy is scamming us all and enjoying the ride.
have found a new place to live.
and am so happy i could throw up on you.
this business of waking up in the morning unsure of where i would be living in a few weeks has given me a new empathy for the homeless.
but then i see the famous Spare Change Guy walking through campus and all tender feelings immediately evaporate.
that's right, have said it:
hate the scg.
boston's darling and the unofficial mascot of suffolk univerity.
he has become a regular fixture here in historical boston, his monotonous call for spare change ringing like bells of freedom across the commons and through the state house.
but he's kind of a dick.
he is actually not homeless (this was proven when he was arrested in his frammingham home sveral times).
so as you can see,
he's just a huge douche
that needs to get a job.
but for some reason, people absolutely LOVE him.
like fox news, whose station is on campus. they're always asking him his opinion and regularly feature him, humoring his "derelict charm".
and if "derelict charm" is synonomous for
"crazy ramblings of the crimminally insane and lazy", then i guess he has plenty of it.
those douchebags at fox news even asked him what his advice was on how to stay cool in the summer.
seriously, are they retarded?
that's like putting an ethiopian on tv and asking him his diet tips.
ok whatever my point is that
a)
have finally found a home.
and b)
spare change guy is scamming us all and enjoying the ride.
Saturday, September 20, 2008
the power of christ compels you
just found a picture i drew on paint when i was 16.
normally don't post these sorts of things, however think this one is special:
believe it captures the complicated emotions that come with being a student at an all girls' catholic school.
i will now leave you to your thoughts.
normally don't post these sorts of things, however think this one is special:
believe it captures the complicated emotions that come with being a student at an all girls' catholic school.
i will now leave you to your thoughts.
let me just tell you
since dealing with Sublet Fiasco Part Deux, have been forced to brave unchartered wilds of apartment searching once again.
you know what that means- craigslist.
and certainly did not expect it to be that competitive!
took a look at potential apartment thursday morning. told her i would email her later that evening with a definite answer.
less than 2 hours later some other hoebag douche ass came by, saw, and conquered.
was devastated.
this blow certainly has lit a fire under my ass.
now find self obsessively attached to computer, refreshing email inbox and craigslist every 15 minutes.
and with each email i send out, every abreviated bio of self, i experience queasy flashbacks of senior year college application process and the whole murky world of uncertainty all over again.
realized: life has come full circle since high school.
was having a shit time stressing over my future.
got into school and had amazing fun.
now am back to hateful, application process wondering if any of my hard efforts will amount to anything remotely useful.
sorry am just crabby because of severe hangover.
you know what that means- craigslist.
and certainly did not expect it to be that competitive!
took a look at potential apartment thursday morning. told her i would email her later that evening with a definite answer.
less than 2 hours later some other hoebag douche ass came by, saw, and conquered.
was devastated.
this blow certainly has lit a fire under my ass.
now find self obsessively attached to computer, refreshing email inbox and craigslist every 15 minutes.
and with each email i send out, every abreviated bio of self, i experience queasy flashbacks of senior year college application process and the whole murky world of uncertainty all over again.
realized: life has come full circle since high school.
was having a shit time stressing over my future.
got into school and had amazing fun.
now am back to hateful, application process wondering if any of my hard efforts will amount to anything remotely useful.
sorry am just crabby because of severe hangover.
Friday, September 19, 2008
chin strap
went to party last night with my fellow waitresses from nile.
had a few shots, was feeling fine.
vaguely considered hooking up with flirty boy with chinstrap, fake bake, diamond stud earings, shaved and gelled roman haircut, and tight abercrombie shirt.
the boston guido.
immediately cut myself off right then and there.
believe have reached some important milestone in life; that point where am able now to grasp reality even in the most hazy and drug/alcohol induced situations.
however, must remember not to be too smug;
though narrowly avoided the douchebag bullet last night, a bullet that would have certainly got me last year, i was lucky i've grown acustomed to the signs and therefore reacted.
one more shot and i would have lost all reason, causing me to awake this morning (afternoon?) in post-drunken misery with deep, wrenching shame, probably smelling like fierce by abercrombie and vomit.
i will use this newfound skill at stop light party tonight.
600 people going, 500 most likely douches.
praise wisdom.
had a few shots, was feeling fine.
vaguely considered hooking up with flirty boy with chinstrap, fake bake, diamond stud earings, shaved and gelled roman haircut, and tight abercrombie shirt.
the boston guido.
immediately cut myself off right then and there.
believe have reached some important milestone in life; that point where am able now to grasp reality even in the most hazy and drug/alcohol induced situations.
however, must remember not to be too smug;
though narrowly avoided the douchebag bullet last night, a bullet that would have certainly got me last year, i was lucky i've grown acustomed to the signs and therefore reacted.
one more shot and i would have lost all reason, causing me to awake this morning (afternoon?) in post-drunken misery with deep, wrenching shame, probably smelling like fierce by abercrombie and vomit.
i will use this newfound skill at stop light party tonight.
600 people going, 500 most likely douches.
praise wisdom.
droll
spoke to my freeloader friend this afternoon.
wondered aloud what she could do tonight that was absolutely free.
asked if she could come over to my place, eat my food, then take the t together 1 hour, rather than a cab, to nile (the hookah lounge i work at) for a free smoke.
typical.
however, this exchange reminded me of an old greek joke:
q. what's the first step of any recipe in a gypsy cookbook?
a. first, steal a chicken.
hahaha
[translator's note: the word "gypsy" is often exchanged for "albanian" in this joke.]
wondered aloud what she could do tonight that was absolutely free.
asked if she could come over to my place, eat my food, then take the t together 1 hour, rather than a cab, to nile (the hookah lounge i work at) for a free smoke.
typical.
however, this exchange reminded me of an old greek joke:
q. what's the first step of any recipe in a gypsy cookbook?
a. first, steal a chicken.
hahaha
[translator's note: the word "gypsy" is often exchanged for "albanian" in this joke.]
Thursday, September 18, 2008
from my window
from my window i see dew on leaves.
charming, exposed brick.
a glorious sky.
the dirty, balding man next door as he sits in front of his computer, jerking off.
i am not kidding.
charming, exposed brick.
a glorious sky.
the dirty, balding man next door as he sits in front of his computer, jerking off.
i am not kidding.
icing on the cake of 1,000 misfortunes
september has proven to be most ridiculous and unluckiest month of life.
after being homeless for week when roomate turned out to be crazed scam artist, new apartment has also fallen through due to no fault of own.
the guy whose room i'm renting has unexpectedly been called back to boston for work.
said i must vacate by october 10th.
was a real douche on phone.
however, these horrid events have led me to a profound realization:
no one cares.
honestly.
no one cares if you lost 2 apartments in the past 3 weeks.
no one cares if the t was so crowded you were forced to sit next to a dirty chinese man eating a questionable looking sandwich.
no one cares if, because of said t, your boss yells at you for being late and smelling like questionable sandwich.
no one cares if that hot guy was checking you out at that party. he probably wasn't anyways.
no one cares if shelly told ryan who told meg who told conor that marie had sex with alice's boyfriend.
no one cares if you missed class and need someone to tell you the homework.
no one.
this simple truth has set me free.
i was always under the delusion that people cared about what i had to say, what i wore, and what happened to me.
i guess no one really does.
well, maybe my mother.
don't get me wrong, i have many friends.
but they're too caught up in their own problems that no one else really cares about.
so during times like these
times when i've been made a (partially) homeless gypsy by scam artists and guys who have been called back to work in boston from albany
that i must always remember that there is no one in the entire universe that cares, unless it directly effects them.
so i should just stfu.
and keep looking on craigslist.
after being homeless for week when roomate turned out to be crazed scam artist, new apartment has also fallen through due to no fault of own.
the guy whose room i'm renting has unexpectedly been called back to boston for work.
said i must vacate by october 10th.
was a real douche on phone.
however, these horrid events have led me to a profound realization:
no one cares.
honestly.
no one cares if you lost 2 apartments in the past 3 weeks.
no one cares if the t was so crowded you were forced to sit next to a dirty chinese man eating a questionable looking sandwich.
no one cares if, because of said t, your boss yells at you for being late and smelling like questionable sandwich.
no one cares if that hot guy was checking you out at that party. he probably wasn't anyways.
no one cares if shelly told ryan who told meg who told conor that marie had sex with alice's boyfriend.
no one cares if you missed class and need someone to tell you the homework.
no one.
this simple truth has set me free.
i was always under the delusion that people cared about what i had to say, what i wore, and what happened to me.
i guess no one really does.
well, maybe my mother.
don't get me wrong, i have many friends.
but they're too caught up in their own problems that no one else really cares about.
so during times like these
times when i've been made a (partially) homeless gypsy by scam artists and guys who have been called back to work in boston from albany
that i must always remember that there is no one in the entire universe that cares, unless it directly effects them.
so i should just stfu.
and keep looking on craigslist.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
