18% is standard, 20% classy

i work at a hookah lounge.

i'm a waitress.

and i love my job.

i love my bosses, my co workers, and smoking free quality shisha, every day.

i just hate customers.

i hate every customer that has, is, and ever will come in.

the biggest douches i've ever had the misfortune of meeting have been durring my 6 hour shifts, running through the dining rooms holding hookahs and a flaming bucket of coals in stilettos.

i hate the customers that say "get me what i ordered last time".

i don't know what you ordered "last time".

it isn't my job to remember what you ordered "last time".

i probably wasn't even working. prick.

or the customers that walk through the employee only sign into the kitchen wondering aloud "is this the bathroom??"

i've been walking in and out of the kitchen holding hookahs for hours, what exactly did you think i was doing in there all night if it was the bathroom?

and have you ever even seen a bathroom?

unless your bathroom has a fryalater and oven in it, then you're a dumbass.

customers that yell at me in arabic, or russian, or turkish

or adress me as "girl"

or snap at me

or throw up in the bathroom (if they can find it)

or ask me for my number....

don't get me wrong,

i absolutely adore my job.

it's just the customers that make me want to accidentally trip whilst holding a bucket full of flaming hot coals and incinerate everything and everyone possible within reach.

tip your waitress.